The session yesterday was less emotional than last week. We finished the evaluation and the conclusion is that I'm apparently very depressed and have severe anxiety...DUH!! I could have told her that without all those questions!!
It was strange to me that the therapists first concern seemed to be whether or not I was still pissed off at her for last weeks session. I told her I wasn't. I mean, I bitched about it for a day and then it was over. I hadn't really given it much thought since. I wonder why she felt I would still harbor ill feelings toward her? She shouldn't flatter herself with such thoughts!
There were questions dealing with my emotional closeness to others. If I have friends. I think it was hard for her to believe that I'm not emotionally close to anybody other than my partner. And she even questioned that, asking if I was really emotionally close to my partner. I am, more than I ever have been with anyone else.
We discussed my need to be babied/nurtured like my mother used to do and the fact that it makes my partner uncomfortable. I don't mean for it to, but this is a need that I don't get met. Of course no one can take care of you better than your mother!
At one point the therapist asked my partner if my mention of my mother in the time that I am sick and need to be nurtured felt incestuous. This surprised both of us. I've never considered it that way. I've certainly never wanted it to come across that way.
We discussed the last time I drank alcohol, took illegal drugs, etc. I've been clean for some time, although I have traded my addiction to drugs to food. That is still a battle I am dealing with to this day.
We ended the session with me giving my therapist permission to contact my medical doctor concerning her evaluation and my medications. Next week we begin working on my medical evaluation...fun stuff.
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